I know, you don't see them for dust once the child is at school. I wonder if she feels overly tired when she comes home and starts to play up. You say she's at school and at a childminders. It is a long day for children and she may be over stimulated there which leads to tiredness and tantrums at home. Does she go to the childminders after school? If so, is there any way she can have quiet time whilst she is there - a bit of colouring by herself, a nice read or even a short 15 minute nap? If there are a lot of other children or pets or computer games, something like that, she could be getting worn out after being at school all day too.
Maybe if it is not possible at the childminders, could she not have something similar as a routine when she gets home? She could perhaps read to you whilst you're getting dinner ready. If it becomes part of her routine she may calm down as she will be expecting it.
Perhaps she is vying for your attention and bad attention for being naughty is better than no attention at all. She is not with you all day and then when you come home there are all sorts of other tasks that you have to get on with so she may be feeling left out or ignored and so acts in a naughty way to get some form of attention from you. Why not set aside half an hour as soon as you get in to have a little drink, a cuddle and discuss what she has been up to all day. You could listen intently, nodding at the appropriate points and ask questions. She would revel in the amount of undivided attention you are giving her. I know that there are a hundred and one other things you should be doing but spending half an hour intensively with her each evening will save 3 hours later on telling her off or coaxing her or whatever.
You say that you have tried the naughty step etc. This is a really good idea. The trouble is, as with most things, in order to see any results, you have to really persevere and continue the procedure each and every time you feel an infringement has occurred which is time consuming and boring but the second you think, 'Oh, I'll let that go. I really can't be asked to fight tonight', all of your previous hard work goes out the window and you have to start all over again.
Perhaps try the above and then revert back to the naughty step if it fails. I am sure the carrot and stick approach definitely does work if you carry on long enough.Where in the UK can I get parenting advice for my 8 year old.?
Where I live the local primary schools pool together with the YMCA and have different courses for free including parenting advice.You`d already know through newsletters from Your daughters school,but if not call YMCA.It`s a government initiative thing so it`s no doubt national.Perhaps Your daughter is just trying to get Your attention,and gets it by being bad,and just wants to spend time with You.
Parentline plus are very good.
http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/ and has sections that you can find guidance under or you can call them and speak to someone......
you could always call your doc. sounds harsh but they normally keep lists of help line, grups and other such things. They may have something to help you. or i did just think the Library ...? dont know they might
The best parenting advice you can get is by listening to your own instincts. You say you have tried all those methods, that seems to suggest that your not being consistent.Pick one method your comfortable with and stick to it. If you are constantly changing the rules for your child how can you expect them to know which rules your using! I know it can be very difficult and frustrating but things will get easier. Rewards charts always worked for my daughter, she used to be a terror but now she's an angel! Just trust your instincts and go with them, you sound like a great mum, so believe in your self and stick to your guns. It takes time but you'll get there. Just make sure you have a good friend you can chat to on those days when you feel like screaming! good luck hun x x
if shes at school and a chidminders , shes probably craving your attention ( not knocking you at all , we all need to work ) do you spend time with her when you are at home , try getting her to help you in making tea , as a working mum we have jobs at home to do when we get home too just try involving her with what you have to do . try saying if you just help me do this i will get it done quicker and then we will sit and read or have a chat or play with a toy .
I took all my daughters toys out of her room so all she had was her bed and clothes.Every time she was good she got an item back...it worked!!! Have you a famliy resource centre nearby that you can get help from either that or go to your doctors and demand help or for them to refer her to someone
try going to your GP and they will refer you to a councillor
here is a little bit of golden parenting advice for you. Don't ask for good parenting advice here. Zack S is a good example of why you shouldn't
The BBC Parenting site is meant to be very good - here you go:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/
I think there are forums where you can chat to other parents which is often a really good way of getting advice.
have you watched little angels or house of tiny tearwaways. my sister turned into a terror at about that age and they have an attitude that they think is cool. this is due to waht they have seen around them. instead of showing her positive attention from this simply try ignoring it and show her lots of attention when she does something small. it works a treat. also it she is trying to wind you up or be naughty try changing what she is doing such as saying 'oh quick come an look at this rabbit' when she gets there say oh no its hidding, look for it maybe it is watching you and seeing if you are helping mummy??'
i hope this works
kirsty
Try talking, explaining
Seems to me if she is good anywhere else, there is a problem at home for her%26gt; Start thinking very carefully and objectively what it could be...and think if she is good elsewhere and therefore has the right to be free at home where she can be herself
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